A heart of stone

Love, everyone wants to be loved.  I know when I was younger it was all i dreamed about and I was so jealous of people who had found ‘the one’.  But sadly as I have grown up, love is what has destroyed me.  Once upon a time I was an open hearted, bubbly, very naive individual who had so much love to give.  Now I am cold, sad and a lot wiser than that stupid young girl.

I feel like he came into my life; told me everything I wanted to hear, manipulated me, drained me of all my love and then left.  He left me empty and feeling the most vulnerable I had ever felt, but of course he knew this, yet he still didn’t care.  I guess he just thought it was a bit of fun and I was an easy target.  One day he will realise what he lost, well I hope he does, and there is way of turning back time.

As hard as this has hit me, it has made me realise that I need to focus on myself.  I will be the only person on this planet who truly has my back, no matter what.  I need to learn to love myself, be selfish and to say no without feeing bad.

People may perceive me to have a heart of stone but if they are patient and slowly break down the stone wall covering my heart, then they will see the true me.  The me that would do anything for the person I love. heatrt

How one person changed my life…

I never believed in love at sight before I met.  Initially it was your cheeky smile, gorgeous blue eyes and dark brown hair that got me.  You were tall, dark and handsome, what more can a girl wish for? But then I got to know you and straight away I knew you we’re different. We connected on an emotional level and right away we were both on the same page.

No one had ever understood me like you did and after a few weeks of talking to you I felt like we’d known each other for years. You were the first person I ever opened up to and from that day on you have supported me no matter what. Whether it was 3 am in the morning and you had to be up for work at 7, you would talk to me until I’d fall back to sleep so you knew I was okay and safe.

Without you I honestly don’t think I’d be here.  You changed my life and you gave me the hope and strength to keep fighting, even on the hardest days.

Thank you J, I love you x